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10/24/2008 18:23 pm
Last time we discussed the difference between taking responsibility for our lives and being a victim. When life throws us a curveball, when we take control of our lives we are better equipped mentally, emotionally and energetically. We stop feeling powerless, depressed and frustrated and become centers of clarity and focus.


So how do we start doing that? Glad you asked. Here are 5 guidelines to helping you start living life - on your own terms:


1. Stop blaming everyone else: Seriously, stop it. Stop giving your power away and blaming others for what is, or is not, happening in your life. Your life is not anybody else's fault and people are not doing anything to you. They may have had a hand in creating an uncomfortable experience. YOU are the one who gets to decide how it goes from there.

2. Your Life is Your Responsibility: Are you frustrated with work? Do bad things happen frequently to you? Is physical or emotional pain keeping you from fully enjoying each day? Are you overwhelmed with so much to do that you procrastinate doing any of it?

So, what are you doing about it?

"Stop expecting the world to rescue you. The Lone Ranger is not coming." Larry Winget

There is no magic pill or knight in shining armor on a white horse coming to take you away or make all of the discomfort disappear. YOU are your own hero. You want control of your life? Stop putting yourself down and saying negative stuff. Start looking toward what you want instead of what you don't want.

3. Things are not always as they seem: We all have a story. Yes, everyone. So someone at work ticks you off. Maybe they have an unhappy marriage, an ailing parent and have been unhappy for a long time. It's not about you. We all base our experiences on our own perceptions which have been colored through our own lens of past events and observations, and may or may not be the full truth of any situation.

Stop assuming you know everything and allow for the possibility that things are simply not always as they seem.

4. Acknowledge your feelings: Feelings are simple, really. We like things that make us feel good - love, affection, romance, acknowledgment. We don't like things that make us feel bad - frustration, anger, sadness, hurt.

How would you really know what one felt like without the other? Stop numbing yourself and acknowledge how you're feeling. That's just being honest with yourself - which will help you be honest with others. Feelings are designed to increase our awareness of our experiences and help us determine how we want to experience our lives. Acknowledge them as they come up and remember, tears are nothing but a little bit of water.

5. Say what you mean: Stop dancing around, being "nice" or assuming people can read between the lines of what you're saying. If you've got something to say, say it.

Try this: Take a current situation you're having challenges in communicating around. Write out what you want to say. Now see if you can write that same explanation or communication out in 10 words or less.

Eliminate the fluff and get to the heart of the matter. It may be a little challenging at first, and the more you practice, the better you will get.


Jenn is our Communication & Relationship Expert -For more fabulous information from Jenn, check out her website at www.TouchwithIntention.com


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