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12/03/2011 14:34 pm

4 Quick Tips for Better Communication During the Holidays

As great as the holidays can be spending time with family and friends, they can be equally as challenging. There is a lot of pressure to create the "perfect" holiday experience, in addition to comparing yourself with other moms or women in the family. When that pressure builds, it affects our communication and participation. Here are 4 Quick Tips to keep you clear and pressure free this holiday season:

1. Start with acknowledging what you DO accomplish or create, instead of focusing on what doesn't.

So you were able to get in that shopping between work, getting the kids to school, making dinner, living your life, getting the holiday

cookies made AND delivered ... and you only got 2 gifts instead of the 6 you were planning on picking up. ACKNOWLEDGE your

immense accomplishment of the 'to-do' list and the 2 gifts, not the 4 that didn't make it.

2. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else.

When your mom or the mother-in-law says, "That's not how we traditionally celebrate ... " feel free to respond gently with, "I so appreciate

that, and, we are creating new traditions and invite you to be a part of that with us."

3. Set healthy boundaries. Sometimes we can overextend ourselves financially, mentally, emotionally. If you need some quiet time when the entire family is gathered, excuse yourself and take a time-out. Should anyone question you, simply tell them, "I'm taking a few minutes of quiet time so that I can be more present. I'll be back in 10 minutes."

4. Eliminate guilt. Yes, I said it. Eliminate it. Either because you didn't do something you thought you 'should' or because somebody else did or said something that made you feel bad. When we feel guilty our communication can sound resentful and challenging. When you find yourself saying things like "I should have ... " or "I could have if ... " stop yourself right there. Repeat the following, "I am amazing and do more in a day then most people do in a month. I'm caring and loving and doing the best I can right now. Quite frankly, I'm awesome."

When we feel better about ourselves and take the time to acknowledge our magnificence, we carry less stress & have better communication.

Happy Holidays!

Jenn Kaye is an author, speaker and mentor who empowers businesses, brands and lifestyles to communicate authentically and build better relationships. Connect with Jenn at www.Facebook.com/JennKaye and sign up for her FREE video communication series at www.howtosaywhatyoumean.com


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