My seven year old son, who has been living in an Eastern culture since age 3, was perplexed the other day when he simply asked his Aussie friend how old her Grandma was. The little girl ignored his question, which upset my son and prompted him to tell the teacher. The little girl finally explained to the teacher that she didn't want to answer the question because "wasn't it kind of rude?"
This is a tricky one. A western person in an eastern culture. Which rules do you follow? I've always just followed the ones that make logical sense after I've thoroughly chewed over the two or three or four contradicting cultural perceptions.
Because as westerner's we are taught that it is rude to ask adults (and peers after a certain age) their age, we are programmed as toddlers to feel shame or embarrassment of our middle-aged years! The very years that we've finally gained a bit of wisdom to couple with our dynamic and energetic personalities!
On the contrary, in eastern society, where age is revered and the elderly are respected, (on Thai mother's day my children ceremoniously circumambulate me on their knees and drop flowers to my feet!---it's actually something to live up to!!) no one fears getting old. Comparing the two, I've decided the whole "hide your age" thing I grew up with is not progressive for society.
I've decided NOT to be bound to my western cultural upbringing, and therefore not to tell my children that asking western adults their age is rude. I've decided instead to discuss with them all of the wonderful things you learn every year and how the older you are, the more stories you have. I've told them that if they want to know a western adults age, they need to have a reason why they want to know, and they need to tell the person what that reason is. The fact is that a child's innocent curiosity is rarely rude, and in fact the reasons are usually flattering to the adult and spark further conversation.
I don't want my kids to ever be concerned with their age. Ask a Nepali how old they are and they will always answer with an "about" and give you a three year gap. Koreans are one year old when they are born. Does it really matter?
And we haven't even touched upon cat and dog years ... .Ha!
