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by Dena Patton
03/19/2010 16:59 pm
"Because
we don't know what is really important to us, everything seems
important. Because everything seems important, we have to do
everything. Other people, unfortunately, see us as doing everything, so
they expect us to do everything. Doing everything keeps us so busy, we
don't have time to think about what is really important." -Anonymous
This
is how I do it: My priorities: my faith, my marriage, my well being, my baby, my business, my friends. I have prayer/bible time each day with church on Sundays. I have two play days a week with my daughter and one
of those days we'll stay in and the other one we'll go to Moms club,
play date or the zoo. I have two family days with my husband and baby. Then three days a week I work in my home office with my assistant while the baby is at daycare. Twice a month my husband and I have
date night and twice a month I have a 'girls night out or friend time'. I try to
get 'me time' in on a daily basis before and/or after my daughter goes to bed and
once a month I do some kind of 'treat' for myself like getting my nails
done. So that is how I get my priorities all in and keep things in
balance, and I have them in the calendar and they don't move. If I do anything outside of those I work it around my existing schedule and never over book myself.Finding balance is easier than you think. Let's start off with some baby steps and go from there.
Here are the key elements of becoming a well-balanced Superwoman:
1. Implement: The Three B's: Basics, Balance and Boundaries
2. Incorporate: Fun, Friendship & Me Time
Baby steps-Phase I:
1. You've got to know your 'basics' which are the top things (roles & responsibilities) that are most important to you. As the quote says above if you don't know what is important than everything becomes important and you stay tired and exhausted. So start off with listing all the roles and responsibilities that make up your life.
2. Now, take that list and designate the top 4 things in your life and put them in priority order. The twist is that for this exercise is that you must add this 'my mind, body, spirit well-being' to the top 4 list. Now that you have your top four we can move on.
3. I want you to spend some time with the list that didn't make the top 4. I want you to cross out (it's just an excersise) the things that:
1. Have nothing to do with the top 4
2. That don't serve your greater self
3. That you could care less about (really)
4. That you feel obligated to do
5. Have nothing to do with your core values or mission in life
4. Now look at what's left. Do you have items that are still on the list? If so, ask yourself these questions:
1. Do I really want or need this duty
2. Does this serve my greater self
3. Does this honor my core values and mission
4. Does this make me happy
5. If so, add them to your top 4 list. Now you have your BASICS list and can create a life AROUND these essential roles and responsibilities. Next you want to create some BOUNDARIES around your basics so they can be protected and nurtured so they can grow. Boundaries are limits like a fence around a garden. They will help you keep the line drawn so that you don't get out of control or lose priorities.
6. For 60 days play the 3 B's game: say no to everything that pulls you away from your top 4 list. This is the time to customize your life with the things that are MOST important to you and live a life you love. So make your top priority list and tape it in a couple spots (your side of the bathroom mirror and on your computer). By simply knowing your basics and having boundaries you will feel more peaceful and joyful. The balance will come in next.
7. Balance isn't a magical destination. But instead a way-of-being (attitude or mind set) that manages your Basics and Boundaries. If you are BEING balanced in how you make choices, keep to your boundaries and select your basics you will FEEL more balanced. So it really starts with your mindset with a commitment of changing your life from crazy busy to balanced. Then going from there. So lets re-look at your basics list and make some balanced choices. Now you need to make some decisions on how much time and energy goes into each thing on a weekly basis so you can create a schedule that HONORS you instead of exhausts you.
Here are the key elements of becoming a well-balanced Superwoman:
1. Implement: The Three B's: Basics, Balance and Boundaries
2. Incorporate: Fun, Friendship & Me Time
Baby steps-Phase I:
1. You've got to know your 'basics' which are the top things (roles & responsibilities) that are most important to you. As the quote says above if you don't know what is important than everything becomes important and you stay tired and exhausted. So start off with listing all the roles and responsibilities that make up your life.
2. Now, take that list and designate the top 4 things in your life and put them in priority order. The twist is that for this exercise is that you must add this 'my mind, body, spirit well-being' to the top 4 list. Now that you have your top four we can move on.
3. I want you to spend some time with the list that didn't make the top 4. I want you to cross out (it's just an excersise) the things that:
1. Have nothing to do with the top 4
2. That don't serve your greater self
3. That you could care less about (really)
4. That you feel obligated to do
5. Have nothing to do with your core values or mission in life
4. Now look at what's left. Do you have items that are still on the list? If so, ask yourself these questions:
1. Do I really want or need this duty
2. Does this serve my greater self
3. Does this honor my core values and mission
4. Does this make me happy
5. If so, add them to your top 4 list. Now you have your BASICS list and can create a life AROUND these essential roles and responsibilities. Next you want to create some BOUNDARIES around your basics so they can be protected and nurtured so they can grow. Boundaries are limits like a fence around a garden. They will help you keep the line drawn so that you don't get out of control or lose priorities.
6. For 60 days play the 3 B's game: say no to everything that pulls you away from your top 4 list. This is the time to customize your life with the things that are MOST important to you and live a life you love. So make your top priority list and tape it in a couple spots (your side of the bathroom mirror and on your computer). By simply knowing your basics and having boundaries you will feel more peaceful and joyful. The balance will come in next.
7. Balance isn't a magical destination. But instead a way-of-being (attitude or mind set) that manages your Basics and Boundaries. If you are BEING balanced in how you make choices, keep to your boundaries and select your basics you will FEEL more balanced. So it really starts with your mindset with a commitment of changing your life from crazy busy to balanced. Then going from there. So lets re-look at your basics list and make some balanced choices. Now you need to make some decisions on how much time and energy goes into each thing on a weekly basis so you can create a schedule that HONORS you instead of exhausts you.
Dena Patton is The Boundaries Coach, Speaker and Entrepreneur. Read the rest of her articles by clicking her name (top/right of this page). She is also the founder of this website/company (Chat, Chew and Chocolate Worldwide), which helps busy women lead balanced, full and fun lives. Information on her speaking, retreats and coaching click here. Stay connected with her on Twitter @chatchew. Need help implementing these ideas in your life or business? Call her for one-on-one coaching.
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