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by Dena Patton
03/02/2010 01:20 am
Let's talk about your busy schedule and why you are on the brink of having the Superwoman Syndrome.
Without proper channels to alleviate stress women run the risk of developing physical and emotional side effects along with their family. These ailments include depression, sleep disorders, depression, addictions, migraines and heart disease, according to UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women. According to The American Heart and Stroke Association - one out of every four women die of heart disease. Heart disease is the number one killer of women and positive lifestyle choices is the number one preventative measure. Women love being Superwomen, but are you willing to learn the skills to steer clear of being an exhausted Superwoman to become a well-balanced Superwoman?
There's a myth about 'being busy' that it brings you value or that it makes you 'matter'. The truth is that you are 100% valuable and lovable right now! You matter to this world without overcrowding your schedule, saying yes to everyone, giving all your time, money and energy away, pushing yourself to exhaustion and pretending you can do it all alone. As busy women we need to watch how we manage ourselves (our energy and time) such that we can freely move from one role to the other, and even have moments each day/week to step out of our roles to reflect and relax. You want to steer clear of being an exhausted Superwoman, but instead become a well-balanced Superwoman. To do so there's three main things you'll start to incorporate into your life: Me Time, Friend Time and a Self-Care Plan and here's 10 reasons why:
1. When you take a few minutes each day just to reflect on your life (what's working and what's not) you become aware of your choices, aware of the red flags that are present, aware of your inner voice/guide, hence make better choices and will guide yourself in a direction that you want, verses just finding yourself in a situation and not knowing how you got there. Doing this keeps you present to your 'basics' which are the things that are most important to you so you can keep them protected, nurtured and growing.
2.Take a few minutes each day to step out of your roles you allow yourself to check in with the authentic YOU, no roles, no have-to's, just you. You'll continue to learn about yourself and develop yourself, verses just going role to role aimlessly.
3. When you take some Me Time you feel more peaceful, recharged and focused to take on your important roles with new strength. You become a better Mom, thoughtful wife, strategic business owner, focused employee, loving grandma etc.
4. When you take Me Time it allows your mind, body and spirit to rest which is crucial to living a healthy, loving life. We are not made to go-go-go. Give yourself permission to stop and smell the roses even for 10 minutes a day you will thank me forever (read the quote at the bottom of this page).
5. When you create a Self Care Plan this dramatically will improve 3 areas: mind, body, spirit. (Only you know what order you want to put them in). Start with one and put some intention and some new habits in place with the objective of improving that area of your life, then move to the next one etc. Your health is the biggest asset you have, you must take care of it.
6. When a Self Care Plan is important to you and you stick to it (whether it's running every Saturday, or reading your bible every morning, or taking a bubble bath every Friday night or hiring a personal trainer) you then become a role model to your children. They see that taking care of yourself is important and it builds their respect for you and it creates self-esteem (in you and in them). They see that Mom is valuable to Mom, which you can't teach a better way.
7. Planning other people's requests around your Self-Care Plan (SCP) maintains your boundaries. I'm not talking about your immediate family, but if you are asked to head up the carpool, but yet it's on the same morning as your new commitment to a running club, then what will you do? Keeping your boundaries intact even when pushy people want their way is hard and this is where women 'let down their boundaries' and start compromising. This then creates a habit of you compromising for others and you 'training' others that you'll move "your stuff" to do their carpool (or ____fill in the blank). AKA no boundaries. So gracefully decline and tell her that it conflicts with your commitment to running, but you could do it on Friday instead. Ladies, your health is more important that saying yes to everyone else.
8. Friend time is crucial to every busy woman. One of the most important reasons is that a good, healthy, positive friend will give you good, healthy advice. We all need perspective on our challenges and girlfriends are great guides. Choose them wisely and get rid of the rest. Who needs drama and negativity! Also, remember to be a good listener and a good friend back!
9. Girlfriend time is often doing something fun or relaxing, which is always good! Laughing is healthy for you and spending time with friends is good medicine for an achy Superwoman's soul. You learn from each other and feed each other's dreams and goals. You cry together and vacation together. You love each others kids and you help each other through tough times. It's just mmm good.
10. Being loved and loving others is one of the most essential human needs. This practice will ignite your soul and light up your heart and will make you a better person. Practice this often with your friends and it truly will make you happy.
Without proper channels to alleviate stress women run the risk of developing physical and emotional side effects along with their family. These ailments include depression, sleep disorders, depression, addictions, migraines and heart disease, according to UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women. According to The American Heart and Stroke Association - one out of every four women die of heart disease. Heart disease is the number one killer of women and positive lifestyle choices is the number one preventative measure. Women love being Superwomen, but are you willing to learn the skills to steer clear of being an exhausted Superwoman to become a well-balanced Superwoman?
There's a myth about 'being busy' that it brings you value or that it makes you 'matter'. The truth is that you are 100% valuable and lovable right now! You matter to this world without overcrowding your schedule, saying yes to everyone, giving all your time, money and energy away, pushing yourself to exhaustion and pretending you can do it all alone. As busy women we need to watch how we manage ourselves (our energy and time) such that we can freely move from one role to the other, and even have moments each day/week to step out of our roles to reflect and relax. You want to steer clear of being an exhausted Superwoman, but instead become a well-balanced Superwoman. To do so there's three main things you'll start to incorporate into your life: Me Time, Friend Time and a Self-Care Plan and here's 10 reasons why:
1. When you take a few minutes each day just to reflect on your life (what's working and what's not) you become aware of your choices, aware of the red flags that are present, aware of your inner voice/guide, hence make better choices and will guide yourself in a direction that you want, verses just finding yourself in a situation and not knowing how you got there. Doing this keeps you present to your 'basics' which are the things that are most important to you so you can keep them protected, nurtured and growing.
2.Take a few minutes each day to step out of your roles you allow yourself to check in with the authentic YOU, no roles, no have-to's, just you. You'll continue to learn about yourself and develop yourself, verses just going role to role aimlessly.
3. When you take some Me Time you feel more peaceful, recharged and focused to take on your important roles with new strength. You become a better Mom, thoughtful wife, strategic business owner, focused employee, loving grandma etc.
4. When you take Me Time it allows your mind, body and spirit to rest which is crucial to living a healthy, loving life. We are not made to go-go-go. Give yourself permission to stop and smell the roses even for 10 minutes a day you will thank me forever (read the quote at the bottom of this page).
5. When you create a Self Care Plan this dramatically will improve 3 areas: mind, body, spirit. (Only you know what order you want to put them in). Start with one and put some intention and some new habits in place with the objective of improving that area of your life, then move to the next one etc. Your health is the biggest asset you have, you must take care of it.
6. When a Self Care Plan is important to you and you stick to it (whether it's running every Saturday, or reading your bible every morning, or taking a bubble bath every Friday night or hiring a personal trainer) you then become a role model to your children. They see that taking care of yourself is important and it builds their respect for you and it creates self-esteem (in you and in them). They see that Mom is valuable to Mom, which you can't teach a better way.
7. Planning other people's requests around your Self-Care Plan (SCP) maintains your boundaries. I'm not talking about your immediate family, but if you are asked to head up the carpool, but yet it's on the same morning as your new commitment to a running club, then what will you do? Keeping your boundaries intact even when pushy people want their way is hard and this is where women 'let down their boundaries' and start compromising. This then creates a habit of you compromising for others and you 'training' others that you'll move "your stuff" to do their carpool (or ____fill in the blank). AKA no boundaries. So gracefully decline and tell her that it conflicts with your commitment to running, but you could do it on Friday instead. Ladies, your health is more important that saying yes to everyone else.
8. Friend time is crucial to every busy woman. One of the most important reasons is that a good, healthy, positive friend will give you good, healthy advice. We all need perspective on our challenges and girlfriends are great guides. Choose them wisely and get rid of the rest. Who needs drama and negativity! Also, remember to be a good listener and a good friend back!
9. Girlfriend time is often doing something fun or relaxing, which is always good! Laughing is healthy for you and spending time with friends is good medicine for an achy Superwoman's soul. You learn from each other and feed each other's dreams and goals. You cry together and vacation together. You love each others kids and you help each other through tough times. It's just mmm good.
10. Being loved and loving others is one of the most essential human needs. This practice will ignite your soul and light up your heart and will make you a better person. Practice this often with your friends and it truly will make you happy.
"Because we don't know what is really important to us, everything seems important. Because everything seems important, we have to do everything. Other people, unfortunately, see us as doing everything, so they expect us to do everything. Doing everything keeps us so busy, we don't have time to think about what is really important." -Anonymous
Dena Patton is a Life Coach, Speaker and CEO of Chat, Chew and Chocolate. She is writing her first book The Well-Balanced Superwomen. There are free downloads for you: a boundaries worksheet, a great to-do list organizer, a Gratefulness Journal and a Me Time Study all on Dena's bio page (bottom/right side of bio page). Info on her programs and coaching visit, www.TheBoundariesCoach.com. Find her on Twitter @chatchew.
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