by Dena Patton

 

One of the biggest reasons we say yes to others (when we don't want to) is because we don't know how to honor our own limits and boundaries. It takes practice to say no, but it also takes practice to actually HONOR your own boundaries when you are faced with someone's requests. You might feel guilty or obligated but if you practice 'boundaries first' you will be living in balance. As the quote says, 'we have to pick our fights', well the same goes with saying yes. If you always give to others and never check in with yourself/your boundaries/your limits, then you are heading for X (fill in the black with lots of negative words like, illness, stress, heart disease, mental distress, overwhelm etc). Check your to-do list (yes go grab it I'll wait)....check to see if your name is on the list? hmm. Start there.


Below are 10 tips on how to create boundaries that will bring you more balance, ease and joy in your life:

• 1. Honor yourself by setting realistic limits for yourself
• 2. Practice saying no (gracefully) by suggesting another time that works for you
• 3. Practice checking 'in' with your boundaries before you say yes to anything
• 4. Protect your most important areas of your life by setting boundaries around them (like a fence around a garden)
• 5. Try not to get consumed in 1 or 2 roles (i.e. business owner, wife, mother) step out of that role daily
• 6. Invest in your future by keeping yourself balanced, healthy and focused on what is important
• 7. Practice coming from your center. Your center is the most powerful place and when you get pulled in a million different directions you end up farrr from your center and 'winging' it, which is exhausting.
• 8. Promise not to 'should' on yourself. Eliminate the word should from your vocabulary
• 9. Train people to honor your boundaries by honoring them yourself, first
• 10. Surround yourself with people who empower and honor you and your goals

There are free downloads: a boundaries worksheet, a great to-do list organizer, a Gratefulness Journal and a Me Time Study all on Dena's bio page (bottom/right side of bio page). To get there just click on her name on this page/upper right. Dena Patton is a Life Coach, Speaker and CEO of Chat, Chew and Chocolate. She is writing her first book The Well-Balanced Superwomen. Info on her programs and coaching visit, www.TheBoundariesCoach.com.