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06/22/2009 13:03 pm
One of the biggest reasons we say yes to others (when we don't want to) is because we don't know how to honor our own limits and boundaries. It takes practice to say no, but it also takes practice to actually HONOR your own boundaries when you are faced with someone's requests. You might feel guilty or obligated but if you practice 'boundaries first' you will be living in balance. As the quote says, 'we have to pick our fights', well the same goes with saying yes. If you always give to others and never check in with yourself/your boundaries/your limits, then you are heading for X (fill in the black with lots of negative words like, illness, stress, heart disease, mental distress, overwhelm etc). Check your to-do list (yes go grab it I'll wait)....check to see if your name is on the list? hmm. Start there.


Below are 10 tips on how to create boundaries that will bring you more balance, ease and joy in your life:


10 Tips for Creating Boundaries

Below are my top 10 tips to create boundaries in your life and career that
will bring more balance, ease and joy into your life:

  1. Honor yourself by managing your capacity (i.e. setting realistic limits and saying "no" often).
  2. Use your career as a platform to give your gifts, spirit and love away to others.
  3. Create a self-care plan, and stick to it. If you are unhealthy, your career and marriage will be also.
  4. Simplify. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, loving or joyful. (Physical clutter and emotional clutter will stop you from creating your dream life).
  5. Be careful not to get consumed by your roles (i.e., parent, career, board member etc). Step out of your roles daily for 10 minutes for meditation, prayer, inventory check for red flags.
  6. Be intentional in keeping yourself balanced, healthy and happy. Know what brings you those things and do that on a regular basis.
  7. Be your biggest fan, not your enemy.
  8. People won't honor your boundaries just 'because'. You must honor your boundaries first, and then others will follow.
  9. Create more play (at work, at home, in your marriage) . Laughing is important.
  10. Surround yourself with people who empower and honor you.


Be unstoppable.

Dena Patton is a Life/Business Coach, retreat facilitator and Speaker. She is also the founder of Chat, Chew and Chocolate. She is writing her first book: Powerfully Living, Gracefully Dying which will be out in 2011. There are free downloads for you: a boundaries checklist, a great to-do list organizer, a Gratefulness Journal and a Me Time Study all on Dena's bio page (bottom/right side of bio page). Info on her programs, retreats and coaching visit, www.TheBoundariesCoach.com. Find her on Twitter @chatchew.


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