Living Beyond Your Means:
A few months ago, Oprah featured a woman on her show who filled her home with lavish furniture, purchased the most expensive clothing, treated her children to the most incredible birthday parties - all unbeknownst to her husband and without concern for her family's financial well-being (in fact, her children didn't have health insurance because they couldn't afford it and her family was in hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt).
It's okay to have money and want nice things. But living beyond your means for the sake of your image suggests a lack of self-esteem, self-confidence and even class. Genuine people cherish relationships and family over things. If you find yourself trying to "keep up with the Jones'" take a step back, make a list of things that are important to you and start focusing on them. It's okay to want and have nice things. But when "things" take the place of relationships, your level of self-confidence may be the issue (and you certainly aren't going to be admired for your sense of purpose).
Asking for Financial Help:
During these difficult times, you may find yourself in need of financial support from friends and family. It's okay to ask for support as long as you outline the transaction in writing - even if the transaction is between family members. Establish when you will pay back your lender and whether or not any interest will be paid. Once established the loan requirements, make sure you stick to it and pay your family or friends back on schedule.
Someone Asks You For Financial Support:
If someone you know and love asks you for financial support, be honest with your answer. Tell them if you can't afford to loan them money by saying something as simple as "I'm sorry, but I'm not in the financial position to do that at this time". If you can lend them money, make sure you outline when and how the borrower will pay you back.
Getting Your Money Back:
We've all been in a position where someone has been negligent in paying us back. Some of us have even ended friendships over a failed loan. If someone owes you money and you feel uncomfortable asking them for your money back - take a deep breath. You are entitled to your money and there is nothing wrong with asking them for it. In fact, it is the proper, most polite thing to do.
There are typically one or two reasons why someone hasn't paid you back: either they don't have the funds as expected or they've simply forgotten about their obligation to you. Either way, you need to ask for payment no matter how uncomfortable you may feel. You can blame someone else for asking. For example, you might want to say, "My accountant (or husband or wife, etc) has been pestering me about not having received the money I loaned to you." Or you might want to remind the person about your address (suggesting that maybe their payment got lost in the mail). The most important way to handle this difficult suggestion is to broach the topic "head-on" with sincerity and honesty.