My neighbor celebrates her family Christmas every year during Thanksgiving as the family members live a significant distance from one another. She dreads this event because of an ungrateful sister. This past Christmas celebration was no different.
The family sat down for their Christmas gift exchange. My neighbor's 12 year old niece unwrapped her present from my neighbor and made a funny face to her mother. My neighbor asked what was wrong and her sister quickly responded by saying, "Oh, it's nothing. But once again "Susan" has been disappointed by your gift. She was disappointed last year as well." My neighbor felt horrible for "disappointing" her niece, but she was furious with her sister for having the audacity to make such a comment. After all, she spent hours thinking about her niece's gift - wanting to buy her something just "perfect". As it turns out, my neighbor bought her niece the same gift two years in a row - by mistake - no doubt disappointing her two years in a row.
There are two lessons to learn in this scenario. The first lesson is to never pass a negative comment to those who give you a gift - regardless of how much you dislike the present. It is discourteous to do so. Remember, etiquette is all about making the person you are with feel special and appreciated. Stating that you hate the gift that they spent hours thinking about does not make a person feel special or appreciated.
Secondly, it is so easy to lose track of what you have purchased your loved ones year after year. Keep a list of gifts purchased every year on your computer so you can reflect on what you bought for whom last year. The list will save countless hours of worrying and wondering how much you spent and you will be confident that your gift this year is just perfect.
Gift giving should be a joyful event - something that demonstrates how much you care about the other person. Reviewing a list of previous gifts will ease the worry and bring the joy back into giving.
