"I'm sorry for the words I said and the tone I said it in ... and the timing," I apologized to my partner.
Have you ever shared strong emotions at the wrong time? Whether you were inspired by a couple of drinks, a certain time of the month, or someone who simply annoyed you? Do you want to know how to express yourself better next time ... and actually be heard?
I love champagne, the delicious and complex flavors on my tongue and the effervescent bubbles tickling my lips. It's a glamorous experience for me. Unfortunately, the side effect of champagne is the need to really express myself ... a little too much, with excessive emotion, at the wrong time.
Trust me, I am all about telling your truth. I discovered (the hard way) there is the right time, place, and delivery of that truth when someone is on the receiving end.
So here is the who, what, where, when, how, and why of expressing your emotions:
Who = I. Take responsibility. You're the only one who can make you feel a certain emotion. Say, "I feel ."
What = I. Take responsibility. It's your experience, not his. Say, "I experienced ."
Where = appropriate place. Agree with your partner on the appropriate place to share emotions.
When = appropriate time. Agree with your partner on the appropriate time to share emotions.
How = appropriate tone. Agree with your partner on a respectable tone to use with one another.
Why: to actually be heard. He's more likely to listen when it doesn't come out of left field; when you take responsibility for what you are feeling about your experience, in the agreed upon place, time, and tone.
Have you ever felt that you were going to burst in the middle of a party because your emotions were pulsing through your veins? What if you feel as though you are going to implode if you don't get to express your feelings in the moment? I have an entire chapter on this in my book. Here is the essence to get you through your emotions:
Step 1: Count to ten (or 100).
Step 2: Ask your empowering question: How could I be even more right now? Insert your positive word, from classy to elegant to rational to logical.
Step 3: Enjoy expressing your emotions ... and being heard.
Byline: Thank you for being a fabulous Chat, Chew, & Chocolate member. It is my pleasure to help you in love. For more Love resources, go to www.TashaTheLoveCoach.com, and click on the pretty pink box for your gift.