by Jenn Kaye

 

When was the last time you innocently enough said to someone, "It's great to see you. Let's get together for lunch soon," and then never phone? Or how about telling your significant other you really need some time together to "connect" and somehow it just never seems to happen? Meetings run late, the kids have a soccer game, family commitments get in the way and life in general seems to stop you from ever making the call and the time, or taking the action you said you would.

It happens to all of use. The truth is, not making the call, the time or taking the action ruins your credibility and sabotages your connection in relationships - at work, at home, with your family and so on.

So what's the big deal? Here's the deal: your credibility influences how much others will communicate with you authentically, cooperate with you (especially when you want them to), learn from you, be influenced by you and connect with you.

It doesn't matter whether you are male or female, an employee or employer, co-worker or friend, parent or child. To create instant credibility and connection in any relationship it boils down to 9 little letters.

DWYSYAGTD.

Do What You Say You Are Going To Do.

If you say you are going to call ... CALL.

If you say you are going to start spending more time together, just the two of you ... SET A DATE NIGHT ON YOUR SCHEDULES AND GO ON A DATE.

If you say you are going to stop overextending yourself so that you don't feel so exhausted and taken for granted at the end of the day ... start saying NO.

Think about it. How do you feel when someone else says they're going to do something and they don't? Let down? Disappointed? Angry? Does your trust in them begin to wear down? Of course it does! They lose credibility with you, don't they?

Sure, we often say we are going to do something in a spontaneous moment of reaction. We want to be nice. We mean it in that moment. We know that if we tell someone what they want to hear, we increase the chance of them liking us or of receiving a positive response.

What happens, however, is that when we don't say what we are going to do, we don't just lose credibility with others. We lose credibility with ourselves. That underlying incongruency within us then begins to slowly undermine our relationships and creates a downward spiral of communication patterns that can be hard to recover.

Keep it simple. Do what you say you are going to do.