Houseguests, Do We Really Need Them?
The New Parents Management Guide
Your due date is only two weeks away and you can't help but fantasize about your new baby; what she will look like, how much fun it will be and how excited you are to be having your family stay at your house when you come home from the hospital.
Little did you know that after twenty grueling hours of labor the last thing you can think of is a house full of guests. You can't cancel them, they are your family and only want to help. You can't run away or check into a hotel under an alias. The only possible thing that makes sense is to grin and bear it, keeping your fingers crossed hoping they will help. So after the adrenaline stops pumping, face reality - your houseguests will be arriving any minute. After all, they are excited about meeting this new family member too!
Here are some tips to help you cope when the doorbell starts ringing.
If you are reading this before you have your baby, give some serious thought about having guests in your house that first week. Think about this before the invitations go out and don't be afraid to say no.
Discuss the topic of over-night visitors with your husband. Don't feel like the burden of making these decisions is all on your shoulders.
Make a plan that will work for both of you. Remember, even though your new baby is a tiny little thing, she gets hungry every two to three hours and can't tell time. If her tummy is empty at 3am she won't care that you are exhausted or have sleeping guests. Are you going to be worried that she will wake up those guests? Most city's have hotels with reasonable prices.
Is it really your obligation to let your family sleep over those first few weeks? Think about it ... .you are now totally responsible for another human being that can't tell you what she wants. Why do you need the extra work? Or will they be a help?
If you do decide that you can handle houseguests, try to prepare for them before you give birth.
1. Organize your linens and towels for your overnight guests.
2. Make up the beds in the guest room.
3. Buy enough coffee, filters and creamer for the morning.
4. Buy some frozen food to have on hand, just in case.
5. Buy enough soft drinks and water.
6. Buy some snacks.
7. Make up a tentative list of chores for your guests.
If your guests are close family members, they will be more than happy to help with chores. Doing a load of laundry, emptying the dishwasher, etc. Write up a list. There is no such thing as free room and board!
Don't be afraid to set up some boundaries before the well-wishers arrive. For instance, any guest wanting to bring their children needs to watch them. There is going to be enough commotion without all the little cousins running around.
Don't be a martyr. If you are so exhausted you can hardly stand up, ask Grandma to watch the baby so you can take a nap. She did a pretty good job raising you!
Make it clear that you and your husband are in charge of the baby. It is not okay to go in the nursery and pickup the baby whenever the idea strikes your guests fancy.
Guests should not expect you to have a ten - course spread when they arrive. Don't be shy about suggesting they go out to eat while you rest.
If other friends want to come visit while you still have houseguests, don't feel bad if it is too much to handle. Be honest and tell them they are welcome after this group goes home.
Try and be flexible. When there is a new baby in the house there is just no predicting what each day will bring. Those first few weeks are an adjustment period for all of you. Try and go with the flow of each day and not get stressed.
Most of all, don't forget to enjoy this incredible miracle along with the warmth and love your family and guests bring. This is a special time to create memories and don't forget to keep that camera handy for those wonderful Kodak moments!
Blythe Lipman
For more information on baby tips and tricks, please visit: www.babyinstructions.com.