by Jenn Kaye

 

In my programs for women the topic of giving and receiving inevitably arises. Let me ask you the same question I ask them. Do you like to give? Give advice, give gifts, give your time and energy to worthy causes? Sure you do. Why? Because quite simply, it feels good.

Now let me ask you this. Do you receive as well as you give? When someone gives you a compliment, do you say, "Thank You?" Or do you go on about how old this outfit is and how you barely had time to do your hair this morning? Do you deflect the compliment and not receive it with the intention in which it was offered? Or do you find yourself doubting the intention of the compliment itself and think things like, "Why are they being nice to me? What do they want?" Let's review the basics. When you do something nice for someone else it makes you feel good right?

Why would you take away somebody else's opportunity to feel good by not receiving a compliment, their assistance or generosity?

The saying as I've always understood it goes as follows, "We must give so that we may receive." It does not say, "We must give and give and give and give, until we feel exhausted, unacknowledged and unappreciated."

There is a dynamic exchange when we give AND receive. It keeps the energy moving and circulating in our lives. We cannot have one without the other. If we are constantly giving and deflecting the receiving we are stopping the flow of movement. Many say they want "more" in their lives ... more love, more romance, more money, more opportunity, more rest. And yet, when someone says something loving, or asks you out, offers you money or to watch the kids for a night so you can have some quiet time to yourself, what is your response?

Here are some simple ways to keep the energy circulating in your life and your relationships:

• When someone tells you, you look pretty simply say, "Thank you."
• When your significant other offers to do something nice for you, instead of telling them exactly how they should do it say, "Thank you so much. I really appreciate that." Then, let them do it.
• Pay attention to how you respond - if the person in the line in front of you sees that you have fewer things and offers to let you go in front of them - go in front of them! It is a gift that has been offered for you to practice receiving.
• Go wild. Send yourself flowers one day with a note that says, "To the best mom/wife/friend in the whole world."
• When you receive it uplifts, inspires and motivates you to want to give more to others. RECEIVE!