Two summers ago, a friend of my in-laws invited herself and her daughter to stay at my in-law's home for a couple of days. My in-laws (who were caught off guard by her self-invitation) responded by saying they would be thrilled to have them stay. Within a couple of hours of their guests arriving, my in-laws quickly discovered they made a grave mistake.
Their guests neglected to bring a hostess gift, they constantly complained about their personal finances during the entire visit, they forced my father-in-law into becoming their personal chauffeur and when they went grocery shopping, they failed to offer to pay for any of the groceries and expected my father-in-law to pay for their purchases.
My in-laws were perplexed, appalled and completely unprepared for their guest's lack of couth and common sense.
Summer is just around the corner and many of you will either be hosting or visiting family and friends. Here are some helpful do's and don'ts to help you become a grateful guest and/or gracious host this summer.
Grateful Guest:
1. Make sure your hostess wants you to visit. And make sure the dates you choose to visit are okay with your hostess. Establish how long you will be staying - when you will be arriving and when you will be leaving and make sure your hostess agrees to these times.
2. Give your hostess a gift when you arrive. Appropriate hostess gifts include: wine, specialty foods that can be served during your stay, homemade pies or desserts, picture frame, a book (on a topic that interests your hostess).
3. Always offer help. There are many ways you can help a hostess - cleaning the dishes, making the meals, doing laundry. Ask the hostess what she would like you to do to contribute to the extra workload she is experiencing by having you there.
4. Offer to take your hostess out to dinner as a way of thanking them for her hospitality (and pay for the bill).
5. Keep your room and/or bathroom tidy throughout your stay. Always make your bed and put your clothes away. Your room and/or bathroom should look the same when you leave as it did when you arrive.
6. Do not make any long-distance phone calls on your host's dime.
7. Do not borrow anything without asking first.
8. Check with the hostess before bringing your pet along. The hostess and her family may have allergies or may simply not want to kennel a pet as well as their family. The hostess has the right to ask you to keep your beloved pet at home.
9. Write your hostess a note if you are leaving the home for a while on your own.
10. Be capable of entertaining yourself if your hostess is unavailable. Do not expect your hostess to entertain you for the entire duration of your stay.
11. Take your shoes off when inside someone else's home and always wear clean socks.
Gracious Host:
1. Give your guest a tour of your home upon their arrival. Make them feel welcome and at-ease. Allow them to settle into their rooms and leave some signs of welcome (warm towels, drinks and snacks)
2. Never sleep too late when you have guests. If you are the first person to rise, you may want to start making breakfast and coffee for your guests.
3. Let your guest help themselves to the food in your fridge, the linens in your linen closet and shampoo in the bathroom.
4. If you require assistance with a household task, ask your guest. Don't feel obligated to wait on your guest every hour of every day during their stay. Allowing your guest to help with chores makes them feel a part of your household - like they belong.
5. Don't feel compelled to entertain your guests 24/7. You might want to suggest to them great historic places or shopping malls where they can visit.