by Dena Patton
The tragic death of the La Crosse senior girl by the hands of her boyfriend was stemmed by abuse from her boyfriend. A story of abuse always brings up the issue of boundaries (or lack thereof) and the importance of them for women, especially girls 13-24. As women and moms, are we learning boundaries and how to stand for them so that our daughters have a good role model? Boundaries are so important because they communicate to others about what you accept and what you don't. Sometimes we have fear about standing up for our boundaries against someone who is bullying us or taking advantage of us (our time, our money, our generosity etc) but yet that is the time we have to gather all the courage we can and stand up for ourselves and our boundaries. Keep in mind that we are always 'training' people (our family members, friends, coworkers, strangers etc) about where our 'line' is and what we accept and what we don't. When it comes to boundaries you have to stand for yours first, then you can expect others to honor them. But be aware that others won't know where your 'line' is until you say something (the first time, not the fourth time). It could be as 'innocent' as someone taking advantage of your kindness and over-asking you for favors, or as severe as abuse. Either way, I encourage you to 'check' your relationships each month to make sure they are: authentic, healthy, respectful and loving. By taking an emotional inventory of your relationships you check if you are able to maintain your values, morals and boundaries around the people in your life, and at the same time you check to see if they are honoring your values, morals and boundaries. You deserve it.
Dena Patton is a Life/Business Coach. Her passion is to transform busy women, entrepreneurs and celebrities into well-balanced, focused, happy people who are changing the world. Info at www.TheBoundariesCoach.com. She is also a business consultant for systems, structures, landing and growth. She founded two movements: Chat, Chew and Chocolate, which is dedicated to connect, inspire and empower busy women at www.TheFriendshipMovement.com and www.GirlsRuleFoundation.org which empowers girls 13-18.