by Jenn Kaye

 

Have you ever noticed when you're in a relationship for awhile you can forget how to create that 'spark?' Or you think you're doing all the right things to light the other person's fire but they seem to be missing your delivery? You feel like you're shooting blanks. And when you don't get the response you're looking for it can lead to frustration, blame, disconnect and throwing your hands up in the air saying, "Well since nothing is working, & they clearly don't appreciate me, I'll just stop trying!"

Whether you've been in a relationship five days, five weeks or five years, everyone experiences some element of this challenge. After interviewing countless couples over the course of the last ten years, one of the biggest common denominators in how they have continued to stay together is to take the time to re-discover themselves and their significant other.

Here are 5 Ways to Re-Discover Your Relationship:

1. Spend Quality Time.

Quality time doesn't mean meeting up with a group of friends or having a bunch of people over for dinner. It means that you actually turn off the tv and eliminate distractions to spend time with each other one-on-one.

2. Learn Something New Together.

Time creates a certain level of comfortability. While we certainly like to be comfortable, it can also lead to complacency. We get so caught up in the way we are used to doing things & what's comfortable that we stop investing in our ongoing education together. Take a cooking class. Go to a wine tasting. Learn a language and practice saying romantic phrases in that language.

3. Keep Your Sense of Humor.

Yes, even when it comes to emotionally charged situations. The secret to longevity in your relationship is being able to move through those challenging situations with levity. Don't hold onto the resentment. Learn to laugh at yourself and let things go sooner.

4. Talk to Each Other.

All too often we can actually be afraid of talking to each other. Afraid of hurting another person's feelings, to tell the truth, to hear the truth ... we talk to everyone else about our relationship instead of telling each other what you're really feeling. Remember, the fear of communicating to the other person will always be worse than the conversation itself - and you'll rediscover new energy in your relationship after talking!)

5. Keep the Romance Alive.

There is no end to romance. It is an ongoing, creative expression that tells someone you care. That they are appreciated, important and desired. Don't assume that just because something worked once before that it will have the same effect every time. Be creative. Try new things. Ask them what is romantic - to them - and practice new ideas.